Seeking Identity in London

“We came to London, ‘cause in Göteborg (Sweden) there wasn’t much for Muslims”, the young man in his 20s was telling me. “Here we have more opportunities to practice our religion”, He went on to say.

***

The young man’s name was Kamal [1], a devout Shia from a Khoja community in London [2]. He was born in Sweden. His family immigrated to the UK when Kamal was 11.
Boshar - Kamal’s brother, sitting next to him - was listening to our conversation with a smile on his face. Boshar, aged 28, was a Computer engineer, working for a British construction company in London.
He told me how his co-workers reacted to his refusal of drinking beer. "They found it odd", Boshar said with a smile on his face. “The most important thing is to make them sure that your refusal is not ‘cause you don't care about them. But because your faith has obliged you not to drink alcohol”, He continued.
Their father, hereafter Mr. Bhojani, was an Indian who immigrated to Uganda in mid-60s with his parents. During the ruling of Uganda's brutal dictator, Idi Amin, they, among many other Indians, has immigrated to Europe. Mr. Bhojani's destination was Sweden.
Mr. Bhojani also had a daughter. Her name was Fatima. She was 16 years old and was going to school in London.
As a European born teenager it is not always easy for her to wear Hijab. “Sometimes school kids make fun of me”, she said. “They thought I had a problem with my hair that I cover it with scarf”.
But it is not always the case with Bhojani family. Boshar and Kamal also gave me many examples of understanding people who respect and care about their beliefs.

***

Boshar, Kamal and Fatima are known as Third-Generation immigrants. “The First generation is made up of people who initially came to Europe to
work. They are now aged 60 or more. The Second generation is made up of the children of those people. They were born outside Europe and came at a very young age, or they were born in Europe. They are aged between 30 and 50. The Third generation is made up of the children of the Second generation. They were born in Europe and they are less than 30 years old” [3].
These Third-Generation girls and boys, all are growing up, going to school, socializing, making friends and working in Europe. Still the only thing makes people call them Europeans is their place of birth.
They stick firmly to their ancestral and familial values. They develop their distinctive identities, far from what western societies, where they’re living in, expect them. They defy the common rules of society to distinguish themselves from mainstream currents.
They reproduce their “selves” in the collective identities of their communities. Religion, here Islam, is a mighty source of preserving their cultural and communal identities.
But it is not always, as some Western commentators inclined to say, a source of fundamentalism and radicalism. Both these phenomena diverge considerably from what I described as an identity seeking process in a postmodern world of uncertainties.


[1] For privacy matters, names are not real. Also any direct clue to their real life has been changed.
[2] Khojas are a (mostly Muslim) community that are mainly concentrated in South Asia, but due to migrations over the centuries have spread to many parts of the globe.
[3] Moniquet, Claude (2005). The radicalization of Muslim youth in Europe: The reality and the scale of the threat. European Strategic Intelligence and Security Center. Available from: http://www.cpt-mi.org/pdf/IslamicExtremism_EuropeMoniquet.pdf

Monsieur

My first intercultural experience dates back to my early childhood. In fact, to be exact, to the day my mother gave birth to me.

Ok! Let me explain!

Our downstairs neighbors are Assyrians. The Assyrians are an ethnic group whose origins lie in what is today Iran, Iraq, Turkey and Syria. In addition to these countries an Assyrian Diaspora lives in Western Europe and Northern America.

Assyrians are mostly Christians. They believe, they – not the Armenians - are the first ethnicity to convert to Christianity and it happened during the lifetime of Jesus.

This Assyrian family comprises of a mother of over 90 years old and her son in his 70s. The husband/father passed away when I was a kid. There are two other sons/brothers who are living in the States. But there is no communication, whatsoever between American members of the family and the ones living in Iran.

I and my cousins, among ourselves, call the old man Monsieur. That usually is the way Iranians call old Christian men living in Iran.

Monsieur is a man of honor and decency. He is a humble man.

He used to work, before 1979 revolution, for an American company in Iran. But after revolution he never worked anywhere.

His style of life is very different from what we commonly see. He doesn’t have a TV set in his house. Up to two years ago, before he became gravely ill and depressed, his hobbies were listening to VOA English service and to read English Books, mainly about American history and politics.

Now and then I and Monsieur talk about politics, religion and life. When I was a teenager, I realized that I like to talk about these subjects. I was, as probably every man in his adolescence is, thinking that I have to change the world in one way or another. However, not many years later, I ascertained how ridiculous the idea is.

During our relationship I learned a few rules. First of all never tell a man about what he believes the way you believe in what he believes.

We used to chat about different religious things. Beforehand, for instance, I didn’t know the Jesus birth story, the way it’s been told in the New Testament (Luke 2: 1-20). So I told him the story the way I’ve always heard about in the school. And I was stunned when he told me the Holy Mary gave birth to Jesus in a manger in Bethlehem (the place later rebuild as a church and now is known as The Church of the Nativity), not beneath a palm tree – as it is believed by Muslims.

Second rule I learned was that never talk about a man’s faith, unless he talks about your faith (or generally, in what you believe) in a disrespectful fashion. I mean unless you have to protect yourself against defamatory remarks.

And that was not the case with Monsieur. He never talks about other people beliefs unless they talk about his beliefs from their own perspectives.

Well! I learned neither I can change someone’s opinions about the way he lives nor do I have to. The only thing I need to do is to respect those ideas, get to know them, even some times bring them to my life and live with them (I know it sounds a little bit grandpa-ish, but it is true).

And luckily, I learned these facts when I was a teenager.

Finally, the third one is a golden rule for me. And that is to keep silent when you don’t feel like argue about something. Later I discovered the rule was used in a complex manner by North American Apache tribes and is called by K.H. Basso in his article “to give up words: silence in western Apache culture”, Apache Silence.

Basso describes Apache silence as “a response to uncertainty and unpredictability in social relations”. It is an important element when you meet a stranger, in the time of romantic relationships and in the presence of other people’s grief (Hill & Watson, 2006, p.12).

***

“Intercultural communication occurs between individuals from differing cultural backgrounds. Cultural differences are a potential source of much miscommunication and misunderstanding” (Hill & Watson, 2006, p.51).

I and Monsieur are Persians. Thus we have similar cultural backgrounds. But at the same time we have our differences. He is an Assyrian. I am from Azeri origins (Although Iranian-Assyrians usually originate or live in Western Azerbaijan). He is a Christian and I was born in a Muslim family. Even if we look at it from Sapir-Whorf’s linguistic relativity hypothesis perspective, his thought, alongside with Persian language, has to be determined with Assyrian language.

In addition we have an age difference of about 50 years.

Therefore, there is an intercultural, inter-religious, intergenerational and even inter-linguistic relationship between us. And to tell you the truth, Monsieur is filled the empty place of my deceased grandparents.

Reference

Hill Anne and James Watson (2006). Dictionary of Media and Communication Studies. 7^th ed. London: Hodder Arnold.